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Aug. 2nd, 2006 @ 10:33 pm (no subject)
so, being a butch can be very tough sometimes. everybody expects you to be this strict stereotype and if you stray, even for a second, your title is stripped from you. fortunately for me i have a lot of the stereotypical qualities:

1. i wear mens clothing

2. mens accessories

3. i drive a pickup truck

4. i own a landscaping company

5. i do masculine things
work on cars/trucks
fix mowers and such
kill bugs
fix anything broken
rewire all necessary things

6. i pump the gas
7. i hold the door open
8. i pay for things
9. i can't do laundry
10.i can only cook meat properly
11.i like to camp
12.i'm a top
13.i'm the protector
14.i have short hair
15.i have muscles
16.i have a tattoo
17.i chew tobacco
18.i drink beer
19.i love sports

so you get the picture, right?

but i have andro sides too-

1. though i have short hair, it's now long enough for the hair salon to ask if i want a bob (though i don't know what a bob is, i'm used to my crew cut)
2. i cry
3. i get hormonal
4. i like recieving flowers
5. i love to read
6. i write poetry
7. i dig girly movies
8. i like chick bands
9. i use to be femme

that's about it i think. so obviously my butch outways my andro. and if you think about it, it's really rather silly to worry about but ya know, if you told a straight femme that she was masculine she would have a heart attack or if you told a biker that he was feminine he would get angry as well. you see, it's the same thing. maybe the biker doesn't always want to wear leather. does that make him less of a biker? no. but in the lesbian world you are either a hard core butch, a dainty femme or a firm andro and those titles make up who we are unless you are a poser and you are created by making people see you for who you want to be. maybe i'm explaining it a bit confusingly, let's try again...

all of the aboved #'d are who i am. not my heart -and- soul- i- have- no- room- to- grow, me but, the- i - like- what- i- like- and i'm- more- than- likely- not-going-to-change, me. now, with the aboved mentioned things, one would say i'm a butch. i've been called a butch my entire adult life and a tom boy when i was a kid. butch has become my title. i'm used to it. it's an identity.
it goes the same for femmes. they wear make-up and dresses. they wear heels and are typically more emotional. they are proud of being "girly", that is who they are comfortable being and that is just who they are. it's their identity.
nobody is allowed to strip or change our identity but us. but it's tricky to keep your title if you change anything about yourself, unless you have some brilliant excuse.
for example: my mom's getting married. i have to wear a dress, so i figure i better get some heels to go with it and look the best i can. if my friends saw me they would immediately start making fun of me and call me a femme. now, if i explain the situation, then they would understand and feel bad for me and my title is saved. if i say nothing at all, then my title is changed, even if i go right back to fixing a car the next day. i am now considered andro.

here-the proof is in the pudding;
i asked my very femme girlfriend "if i called you masculine, how would you feel?
her answer-
"excuse me? how dare you call me masculine? i am not a man. i must be doing something wrong"

that was her general reaction. after which she ran upstairs and changed from jeans and a t-shirt (pink shoes mind you) to a skirt and some girly shirt with her hair all pulled up and smelling like a flower.

see, titles sound stupid but they are something to be proud of like saying you are the manager of a business instead a low pay employee. our title lets us as well as others know that we have earned who we are. we have earned this strong title and though we may never admit it, it gives us a secure feeling.

think about it butches and femmes out there: you are butch. you are femme. butches you are strong and protective. you are lion of the dyke world. you growl and pound your giant lion paw and people listen. you are handsome and though rough around the edges, you have a heart of gold. femmes, you are stunning and sensitive. you are the panther, sleek and svelt. you pull so much weight in the world. you are strong and beautiful, soft and gentle. you are the healers of the world.

now, how do you feel? proud?
i rest my case. i will be who i am inside. butch. whether i grow my hair long or i drive a harley. i may fit the stereotype now and i might stray a bit, but i will always be a butch at heart.
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